Mommy I loved you
by Shinju47
Summary: Azula muses about the relationship she had with her mother


**Hi guys! Here's a little something to tide you over while I figure out Paper Butterflies. It's a one shot about Azula. My inspirations for this one were the songs At The Ballet by The Cast of Glee, and Heavy In Your Arms by Florence + The Machine.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own A:TLA**

She would never admit it to anyone, but Azula had loved her mother...

When she was four, her mother had decided to take her to watch the ballet as an action of female bonding. She remembered, so vividly, walking through the dimly lit theatre auditorium to the plush, cushioned seats near the front of the stage.

The lights went lower giving the already dark room a mysterious air, then the big white light settled onto the dark stage and two figures stood like statues in white.

The music began to play and the figures began to sway together before flitting to the music all over the stage. The music progressed and the dancers moved in a devastatingly beautiful manner, astonishing the little Fire Nation Monarch.

She remembered the moment when the graceful man lifted the lovely girl in white and she had gasped at the sheer beauty of the moment.

The music swelled to its crescendo and too soon the dance was over. Clapping loudly and gazing starry eyed at the stage where the dancers bowed, Azula wished if only for a moment to be a pretty ballerina.

Her mother had gazed at her warmly and took her hand as she led her out into the corridors. She remembered her mother asking her if she had enjoyed the performance and nodding vigorously in response.

This happened quite often after the first time, that she and her mother would spend the day out together and go watch the ballet; and for a while Azula was genuinely happy. She looked forward to the moments spent with her mother and had a feeling her mother quite enjoyed moments with her too.

Everything was perfect for the little princess until her father had found out why she hadn't been attending her fire bending practices as often as she should have...

The day had been wonderful like all the others, but something about this one seemed better at the same time. She had always heard from her mother that she loved her, but had always smiled and giggled. Today for the first time, she had said that she loved her mother and meant it with every fibre of her tiny being. They had smiled and hugged for a long while before her mother had kissed her on the nose and the two of them headed towards the palanquins.

When they had gotten back to the palace, she recalled walking in to see her father looking very upset and her brother standing off to the side looking like he was going to cry. She felt a twinge in her heart for her brother, although it only lasted a second before her father was on them.

He had been furious that her mother had taken her to see something as stupid and pointless as ballet. He had reprimanded her mother sharply and then turned his fury to her; he told her that she would be useless if she continued to indulge in such frivolities. To make matters worse, her mother did not defend her, and her father had compared her to her pathetic older brother. The words ripped into her little four year old self like knives, but she would not cry in front of father and disgrace herself further.

When the rant had been over, her father turned to walk away, taking Zuko with him. She remembered that she had tried to apologize to her father but he had just ignored her and walked away from his shaken up family.

It was in that moment that Azula sought comfort from her mother but was heartbroken to find that even though she had held her, she had said nothing as she was too busy looking pensively at her snivelling idiot brother tripping along behind her father.

Somewhere deep inside her, a fire starting in Azula's soul and she made a decision that from that day on she would have nothing to do with her traitorous mother and would devote herself to ensuring that her father never again looked at her with such rage and disappointment in his eyes.

She would become his pride and she would destroy the boy who took her mother from her.

That was ten years ago... mother had long since vanished and her 'dearest' brother had been burned and exiled not too long ago. She had achieved her goal of being father's favourite; yet somehow even with being a master firebender and mastering lightning, she felt empty and alone. Sure she had Mai and Ty Lee, but they were mere tools to be used and out away as need be.

Sometimes it scared her how cruel she had become, but she would never let it show. No, she would never let it show, no matter how much she missed the little girl she once was; the one who danced around her room and flopped onto pillows and who loved her mother...very much.

She would stand tall and be brave and strong, after all, a whispered 'I love you' never meant anything to a Prodigy...


End file.
